Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Top Ten Reasons That It Was Cooler Watching the NCAA Men's Basketball Championship With Me Than However You Spent It

1. I only used the DVR once. Towards the end of the second half there were only a couple minutes left. There was a cut to the crowd. I don't know who's fans. But I noticed something. Tan skin. No bone structure. That was a titty. I found the remote and hit rewind. The front row was littered with people pressed up against a metal gate. In the middle there was a screaming girl with a gigantic set of breasts. Replayed it in slow mo a couple times. She jiggled as she raged her fandom. Deliciously low cut.
2. Didn't turn the game on until it was 31-18. Who likes to be all ready to go when the game starts? I tune in. When the stuff I have to do gets done.
3. Right when I turned the game on I immediately laid down in bed for twenty minutes. Felt great.
4. While I was laying down I started ordering pizza. When it ended both Davanni's and Domino's had delivered me food. And because Domino's forgot my dipping sauces I will be getting a free pizza and bread side the next time I get that low.
5. I dressed in long underwear. From start to finish.
6. I didn't go to Kansas or Kentucky. It's annoying watching a game when the people you are with care too much. It's funny sometimes. Entertaining even. But it always gets uncomfortable.
7. If we were Eskimo's Dick Vitale would have been put on an ice cube and pushed out to sea by now.
8. Unibrow. Is it making a comeback? Or an emergence?
9. Finished some OJ towards the end of the game. Had been drinking straight from the bottle. Attempted to bounce pass the empty Simply Orange bottle into the trash bin. Rimmed out.
10. Guinness floats. Vanilla haagen daaz ice cream in a cup. Pour Guinness. Enjoyed.

Peanut Butter Honey

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