Monday, April 9, 2012

'Mama's Gonna Give You Love' Emily Wells


Fresh Batch

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All right, so far one laptop down. I think that is an oldy but it is a goody. Careful with your electronics.
Next we have a little kid with glasses.

A zipline.

Another slam dunk.

Jackass kids.

Hallway interview. Wait for it.

Beating nuts to death.

Gimme some truth. Cover.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Top Ten Reasons That It Was Cooler Watching the NCAA Men's Basketball Championship With Me Than However You Spent It

1. I only used the DVR once. Towards the end of the second half there were only a couple minutes left. There was a cut to the crowd. I don't know who's fans. But I noticed something. Tan skin. No bone structure. That was a titty. I found the remote and hit rewind. The front row was littered with people pressed up against a metal gate. In the middle there was a screaming girl with a gigantic set of breasts. Replayed it in slow mo a couple times. She jiggled as she raged her fandom. Deliciously low cut.
2. Didn't turn the game on until it was 31-18. Who likes to be all ready to go when the game starts? I tune in. When the stuff I have to do gets done.
3. Right when I turned the game on I immediately laid down in bed for twenty minutes. Felt great.
4. While I was laying down I started ordering pizza. When it ended both Davanni's and Domino's had delivered me food. And because Domino's forgot my dipping sauces I will be getting a free pizza and bread side the next time I get that low.
5. I dressed in long underwear. From start to finish.
6. I didn't go to Kansas or Kentucky. It's annoying watching a game when the people you are with care too much. It's funny sometimes. Entertaining even. But it always gets uncomfortable.
7. If we were Eskimo's Dick Vitale would have been put on an ice cube and pushed out to sea by now.
8. Unibrow. Is it making a comeback? Or an emergence?
9. Finished some OJ towards the end of the game. Had been drinking straight from the bottle. Attempted to bounce pass the empty Simply Orange bottle into the trash bin. Rimmed out.
10. Guinness floats. Vanilla haagen daaz ice cream in a cup. Pour Guinness. Enjoyed.

Peanut Butter Honey

Monday, April 2, 2012

I Need to Go Home and Write About This

When someone mocks me there is so much love behind it that most of the time it has the impact of a droplet of water during a rain. Appropriate. In the middle of a night out drinking and socializing with some of the longest tenured friends I've got one of them blurted out 'I need to go home and write about this.' It was a light dig. Minimal impact. Not that creative. Secretly he probably regretted it because he likes reading words. So why would that bother me? It wouldn't, moving on.
If you don't like trannies than you are a bigot. Times are changing. Get with it or get left behind.
Turned on sportscenter. Kentucky will be playing Kansas for the national title. 'You know, John Calipari started his coaching career at Kansas.' When you're reaching like that for a storyline the big picture probably isn't that interesting.
But you know what? This is the best damn champagne I ever had in my life.

Maybach bumper sticker read what would hova do.
Peanut Butter Honey