Sunday, April 26, 2009

Department of Health Leaks Swine Flu Pics

Washingon, DC - In an effort to quell rumors that the current swine flu outbreak could lead to a global pandemic, the Department of Health has released a picture of a California man who contracted the virus after a recent trip to Mexico for fire-twirling lessons.

The man, who wishes to remain anonymous (Johnathan Felch), was hospitalized by California police after showing flu-like symptoms. DOH officials described the man as delusional, spasmodic, and suffering from ideas of grandeur as he refused to clothe himself at an outdoor music festival in April. DOH officals are concerned the strain has mutated into a virus that effects the central nervous system, which would impact the man's ability to reason. Noticeable shrinkage was observed as well, another complication from the swine virus.

DOH officials have instructed doctors around the world to institute a series of electric shocks to pig flu sufferers, and also expose patients to slow, melodic music to calm the patient.

Before and after pictures of the man show the devastating effects of the swine flu virus.

Before


After



The Wizard can be contacted here: http://www.myspace.com/jfelch

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