How I Got Mugged, by Skip Flanagan.

It was a day in a town in a place that happened to be a city. The night was young and full of possibility. The people were out and Skip Flanagan’s cell phone was hot with activity.

Some friends who drank hard wanted to party and Skip Flanagan knew he could keep up. After all, he trained with some of the most talented from a young age and continued his journey through a worldwide capital to hone his craft. He put on the freshest pair of jeans available and walked out of his bedroom.

Skip’s apartment was scarce looking. It looked like half the things inside had been moved out and indeed they had. Only days before, like a shadow, his roommate became his former roommate in a quick painless move out. Everything except for a gigantic dresser which was right in front of the door to the apartment. Skip laughed out loud to himself before departing with a slice of a baguette in his hand to eat on the way. An experienced man, Skip Flanagan.

The walk to the bar would have been nice, but instead Skip was escorted by vehicle. On the way to the bar Skip realized exactly what he was in for. Hard drinking. He also made crumbs fall all over the car as he ate his baguette causing the driver to swear many times in his direction. Skip swore back harder.

At the bar, a realistic place with stools and seats, Skip was immediately drinking. In an effort to show alpha he threw aside certain rules he had in favor of sticking to his morals. Drink for drink of hard liquor not mixed with anything. Commonly known as ‘shots’.

Suddenly, Skip Flanagan realized he had drunk his full. He implored the driver to take him home but was rebuffed. In another effort to show his alpha, as well as just how weird he was, Skip smiled to himself and walked out.

Skip Flanagan walked home from many blocks away. None of us know the details but we all know this story does not go well. It never goes well.

On the way he met a nice man who asked him for a cigarette. Skip didn’t have one for the man. The stranger began walking and talking with him. The conversation was good, not amazing, but good. For Skip it would do on a long, lonely, drunken stagger to his home.

Skip made many great points and also told many humorous stories. So did the stranger he was walking with. At some point in time a turn was necessary so Skip did. The man followed and about three steps later he grabbed Skip by the shoulder and punched him in the gut. Skip went down. Another man approached quickly and kicked Skip in the ribs while he was down. Skip struggled to breathe as he covered his head. He felt his wallet being taken from his back pocket and heard the sound of footsteps running away.

Skip stood up and continued home. Only two blocks later he ran into two cops who he explained the situation to. At one point Skip stopped the story and said, “I’m sorry, I’m a little drunk right now.” One of the cops responded with, “Yeah, we know.” Skip walked the rest of the way home shortly afterword determined to call and cancel all the cards from his wallet. He walked through the front door and directly into the dresser his former roommate had left behind. This caused Skip enough pain that he went back down on the ground. During the confusion of the pain he forgot the reason he had come home. After a drink of water directly from the tap Skip found his bed and went to sleep.

A few hours later Skip woke up with the mugging and his stolen wallet on his mind. He called and canceled all his credit and debit cards. The only charges were two small separate purchases at a Super America near the site of the crime.

The next day the cop’s called to tell Skip that the suspect had been caught trying to use his library card. They asked if he wanted to come down and identify the suspect in a lineup. Skip thanked the cops for their good work but declined the opportunity to identify the suspect in a lineup.

The Legend of...

          Continues...