That One Up Guy

Drawing from the real world I am going to make a bold step and one up one of my Multicultural Friends and a recent story of their's. How I came into the opportunity is simple and innocent. I went to the grocery store.
It was 11:30pm and I was in need of things. Specifically liquid smoke and molasses to add to one of a series of barbecue sauce recipes I am developing and some various flavored potato chips to satisfy a hunger for sliced, pressed, deep fried snacks with dusty deliciousness sprinkled on top.
I went to the grocer on 50th and France instead of the one on Vernon because I want to get some good cuts of meat to put on the grill the next day. Something to try with the new recipe, you know. Also, the place is just cleaner feeling.
So I am walking down the aisle. My basket has molasses. I am searching for liquid smoke.
"Smick?" I hear the voice before I see who it is. I look down the aisle.
It is Robb Nelson's little brother. He is wearing some stupid baseball cap that doesn't fit because he has too much hair.
"Jali? I mean, Smick Jali, right?" He breaks my pleasant silence for the second time without giving me much of anything to work with as far as making a response goes.
"Yeah."
At this point I wish I would have had the balls to just say to Robb Nelson's brother that I don't want to be bothered while I shop for groceries at my local store at 11:30pm. In fact, I used to come to these stores between two and four in the morning to make sure I could find what I needed and enjoy my experience without running into you or my dentist's dental assistant or the Bolles's mom or Hedi Holmberg. That was until a state law was passed to keep the lights off and the vegetables and refrigerated items sealed at night. That closed grocery stores from 12am to 5am.
Instead, Robb Nelson's brother digs for more, "So, what are you up to?"
I live in my mom's basement, "Not much, man."
At this point I was about ten feet away from Robb Nelson's brother. My side was facing him because I was still halfway trying to see if liquid smoke was in front of me where I had been looking before I had been interrupted. I thought I was using body language to communicate things in a less awkward way than words would.
Robb Nelson's brother had to make it awkward. He pressed on. "Cool. Your beard is really long man."
He had a halfway smile on his face so I didn't know exactly how to react. I thought for a second. Robb Nelson's brother's dad has a beard, and I even remember hearing at one point that Robb Nelson's brother himself had grown a beard. I am going to try and make communication?
"Yeah, it was even longer before. I heard you had a beard, right?" Look at that. I think he was surprised that I remembered who he was. I had him off kilter now and I was going to strike. I turned my body and opened myself up to Robb Nelson's brother. I smiled at him.
"Yeah, I did. Not like that though." Robb Nelson's brother pointed at my face.
Damn. He got me back good. I gave him everything I had and he held his ground and shut me down. I always liked his mom, she seemed like a smart woman and her job and accomplishments confirmed my feelings. His dad was also a successful man, although I had never gotten to know him much. This son they had raised, Robb Nelson's brother, he wasn't bad. But he was about to remember that I am the best.
I looked at Robb Nelson's brother and broke down the situation. This had been my aisle. My trip to the grocery store. This is my planet. So I seized control. I remembered body language and at the same time vocal expression.
"What are you doing here?" I asked with an authority that was brand new to the situation. Robb Nelson's brother was taken aback.
Robb Nelson's brother started to answer, "I'm hanging out with Natalie Sandy and Julie White and..."
Partially I stopped listening, partially Robb Nelson's brother trailed off. I think it was because Robb Nelson's brother realized that he had seen a line, danced on it, and suddenly become aware that he had crossed it.
It also may have had to do with my choice of body language. As I asked Robb Nelson's brother, "What are you doing here?" I closed in on him. One step after another, aggressively yet under control, I closed the gap between us and stopped.
Robb Nelson's brother tried to end the awkward moment by stepping to the side of me and taking a few steps past me. He kept his head down because as he tried to walk away from me I calmly sidestepped close by him trying to keep my face near his head. Robb Nelson's brother's speed increased as he walked down the aisle away from me.
"What are you doing this summer?" I asked as I stopped moving.
"Working at a YMCA camp," Robb Nelson's brother responded without looking at me as he turned and disappeared around the corner at the end of the aisle.
I smiled and turned back to the shelf to see if I could find liquid smoke.